Hi guys!

I would like to continue with things that started in "Social fixes, through story telling".
Alex was silent for a quite some time, so I will try to take a step forward.

I'd like to start a topic, where we could share short stories
from different worlds, different moods and different points of view.

The idea is, that we could give each other feedback, support and pick juiciest and most natural ideas,
wich we could then turn into the games.

My personal aim is to learn the language properly and create, or rather co-create, virtual stories and music,
that would give as many people the same good things, that other people's art gives me -
ease, fun, relief, inspiration, revelations, courage and empowerment. I want my
work to serve the best way it could possibly serve.

Now, that is my vision. My current situation is, that I can write, compose in several styles, play, and in a sense "channel" emotions to art,
but I have shortcommings in grammar, no people to cooperate with and I am jobless and broke.
And to be completely honest, I probably don't WANT other job then doing things that feel natural.

So along with creating this sharing toppic, I want to ask you for help.  
For those of you who will take interest to read and listen to my stuff, please, let me know
what things you feel need biggest improvement (most obvious grammar issues, more interesting themes, better structure etc.).
Right now I work on improving vocabulary, read more and look for interesting games, write, learn new songs, compose and work on my voice.

Sure, best thing would be the full time gig, and if anyone feels they can use guy like me for anything, I'll be happy to give my very best.
But just sharing ideas and learning from the feedback would be pretty awesome way to exchange, give and improve...

Hope someone will play with me!


Link to toppic with my music to give you an idea:

http://gameful.org/forum/topics/composer-looking-for-a-job-real-ins...

I'll send my first story in response.

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12. April 2021

Everything is sharp and intense. Reducing the pills really raised my awareness.
I can sense my body, my surroundings, my thoughts and my emotions much more clearly.
As im breathing in more pain I numbed for so long, I literally feel the change bubbling inside me
with every second.

Accordind to the navigation, the only thing that parts me from The Crack is metal door
at the other side of the room.

I try to step forward, but I can't move. My mind screams in attemp to push me back.
I surender, sit on the cold floor and take a sip from the flask.
I close my eyes, feeling the water racing through my body, washing away particles of fear.

With a stream of new energy comes the feeling of unrealness.
After so many years living in belief that the world outside the complex is uninhabitable, I'm about to leave.
Despite everything that is still within me.

Reason for this apeared in my life roughly two years earlier.

Back then I lived in belief that the only thing that remained form the planet's surface
is a dead wasteland. I accepted the theory of Great catastrophe as a undeniable fact.
It seemed to me that only people who preached something else were mislead lunatics or
churches and cults, who manipulated those people.

The world I lived in did not make much sense.
It seemed that everyone I know was sentenced to live the same script:
To be born into the world full of darkness and cold, graduate school, spend 40 years growing sythetic vegetables or
building and repearing water purifiers, electronics and lights and then survive last 10 years in regrets about
how how pointless and empty their existence was..   

My way of escaping from this gray and seemingly ubiquitous reality was mainly The Web, wich is intricate medium,
that connects people from virtually all parts of this huge complex we call The World irrespective of race, nationality or religion.
The Web enables us to comunicate over huge distances and to share various forms of informations and art. It is a reflection of
what we really are, both light and darkness. It allows anybody to find almost anything.

I do not remember what I was looking for at that moment...
Probably something that would ease that everlasting pressure that clouded my mind for so long and made me swallow countless numbing pills
just to get through every day - some fitting story, game, or a piece of music...

But somehow I ended up at the homepage of Ray - an organization wich originated from groups of people from all around the world, that
independly decided to explore the real consequences of Great Earthquake. Soon they discovered, that the earthquake created
a series of huge cracks and thus opened the passages to surface.  And the surface was, contrary to common beliefs,
not only habitable, but literally flourished.

Divers, how those people later started to call themselves, beginned to study the new world, sharing what they learned and created several organizations,
that eventually united.
When I foud their page, Ray had allready built several funcional settlements. They offered videos, photos, existing discoveries and
regularly updated chronicles of all individual communities.

It made me explode inside, depite all my languor and incredulity. It seemed that I found a convincing proof of
something, I considered impossible.
But it was more then that. I FELT the intensity of what were those people creating. Their courage, the way they worked, expressed themselves and lived
made more SENSE than anything I ever encountered before. When i broswed photos and read latest chronicle entries, I felt like i was downloading data I
subcounciously wanted for a very long time.

Along with revelations came a wave of doubts and fears. Can I trust my feelings? Isnt it all some kind of
conspiracy, some kind of cold social experiment designed by the government?

But the more I was diving into this new world, the less sense thoughts like this made.

Propaganda was always overly dramatic and full of pressure. It tried to evoke fear, helplessness and
direct people against some kind of "Common foe" It gave no choice and denied responsibility of every one of us.

Divers were completely different.

I felt that they are just people, who discovered another, more natural way of living and decided to explore it
regardless on old stuff, that could stand in their way. They felt the excitement of this path, just like me now.
They also didn't force what they found upon anybody. Didn't try to pretend that they are in any way superrior to anyone else.
They just offered their discoveries knowing, that information they're sharing will gravitate towards the right people and will prepare ground
for new, mutually beneficial exchanges and interactions.

Inspired by the events on the surface I started to throw away my fears and old beliefs. Stepping into unknown
gradually became easier and easier. As time passed, differences between world down and above became much more apparent.
Underground was a place, where most people lived grey and depressive lives full of fear, blame and paranoia.
Surface was dynamic, exciting and full of changes. People made mistakes, but they were tied together and supportive. They seemed to be much more
warm, open, kind and "human". Soon I really started to think about leaving. At first ocasional ten minutes before sleep, then almost every afternoon,
then every minute of every day. And the day before yesterday I finally did it.

I woke up, packed up my suplies and navigation device, wrote a short letter to my roomate and set off.

I walked two days nonstop, except for moments when fear became too intense.
At such times I always sat on the floor and let the mind go wherever it needed to go.
And it always managed to find its way through the hallways of old anger and childhood fears to a place,
from where I could make one more step.

I get up and take a deep breath. I think I'm ready.
The stress is almost gone. Most of it transformed into calm knowing that wathever is
ahead, I'll be able to deal with it. I walk to the door and pull a handle.

First seconds are dazzling. My senses are completely overhelmed by intese light and fresh smell, that pours through the crack.
I allready saw a glimpse of this world through photos and videos, but nothing less than direct experience can't describe the surge of life it gave me
when it hit all my senses.
I stepped forward.

About a halfway through I subcounciously reach to my pocked and grab all the remaining pills, still looking forward and smiling.
I squeeze them a little and then drop them on the floor.
I walk through the crack and follow the path made by people who walked there before me.
I don't look back.

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